Alfred 'Hamburger Hero' Jones

FFFFF WHO IS THIS SEXY BASTARD? HE'S THE MOTHERFUCKING HERO, THAT'S WHAT. THIS DUDE HOARDS ENGLANDS AND AMERICAS AND CALLS THEM HIS FAMILY. WHY? BECAUSE HE MOTHERFUCKING CAN.

YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. THE WHOLE WORLD SHALL BOW DOWN TO AMERICA ONE DAY. YOU WILL ALL BECOME ONE WITH HIM. >:D

I'm about as likely to become one with him as I would a horny one-eyed rhino. They have the same level of sexual skill.